It all starts with Festivus
In 1997, Frank Costanza told the world about Festivus. Jerry Stiller image from Wikimedia.
The next four days are the most festive of the year — that is, they will be if you play your cards right. Starting tomorrow, there’s something big to be celebrated every day, so don’t restrict yourself to just eating turkey for dinner on Christmas Eve and opening presents the next morning.
If you love to celebrate, get started tomorrow, on Festivus. Luckily Festivus doesn’t cost a bunch of money, so you won’t have to run out and get installment loans for people with bad credit to start celebrating tomorrow. Here’s what you need to know about how to properly celebrate Festivus.
Dec. 23: Festivus
I think it is safe to say that Festivus is the most widely celebrated holiday that was introduced via a fictional television show. By now, most people know the fictional version of the story, that Festivus is a holiday that “Seinfeld” character Frank Costanza invented, thus George Costanza was raised in the Festivus tradition. Originally, Festivus was invented in the ’60s by “Seinfeld” writer Dan O’Keefe, but it remained only a family tradition until the 1997 episode wherein the Costanzas drag the rest of the cast into the Festivus celebration.
To celebrate Festivus in the “Seinfeld” tradition, start today by picking up a Festivus pole. Several retailers sell them now, but any aluminum pole will do. The Festivus pole is not decorated. Tomorrow you can hold Festivus dinner. On “Seinfeld” it looks like they were eating meatloaf at Festivus dinner, but the cuisine is not important. What’s important is the airing of grievances, which happens during the meal. Frank instructs that you “gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.”
Finally, after dinner it is time for Feats of Strength. The head of the household challenges another family member to a wrestling match, and Festivus is over when the head of the household is pinned.
Dec. 24: Christmas Eve
On Christmas Eve, stores and gyms and all manner of other businesses close early. Usually families and friends begin gathering and children are fed massive amounts of turkey to lull them to sleep, because they would be too excited otherwise. My family always allowed each child to open one present on Christmas Eve.
Every family has its own Christmas Eve traditions, but most people agree that the Christmas celebration begins on Christmas Eve.
Dec. 25: Christmas Day
Those of us who grew up celebrating Christmas remember how exciting it was when we were kids. Waking up while it was still dark out and forcing our parents out of bed was a long-honored tradition. When we were teenagers, the before-dawn part became less important. Adults who have kids repeat this cycle from the other side, but most of us go through at least a few years when we neither have children nor live with our parents.
Christmas can take on all types of different forms during these years. This year, I’ll be spending Christmas with my cousin, boyfriend and boyfriend’s parents and grandparents. The Christmas tradition of spending time with people who you care about survives after all of the excitement about shiny wrapping paper and stuffed stockings dies down.
Dec. 26: Boxing Day
Boxing Day is not officially a holiday in the U.S., but has that ever stopped anyone before? Boxing Day is celebrated in Britain, Australia, New Zealand and Canada. Though it originally started as a day when the upper class gave servants and other workers boxes full of food and clothes, nowadays it survives as sort of an extension of Christmas.
Now families use boxing day simply to continue spending time with friends and family. When Boxing Day is on a weekday, banks are closed, and many businesses this year in countries where boxing day is celebrated will close to observe the holiday.
